Reading & Writing

I think I started writing before I began reading. I have distinct memories of sitting beneath the piano in our playroom at the home where I grew up until I was 6, holding a bright orange, pocket-size, Gideon’s New Testament, copying down what I saw, then bringing it to my mother, asking what it said. That’s how I learned to read. My mother has told me I was 3 at this time. I look at my youngest daughter who is currently three, and I just cannot imagine that. Perhaps proof of what an odd bird I’ve been from the start?

I became a ravenous reader, which inspired me to write stories of my own about- what else when Laura Ingalls Wilder, Mary Borntrager, Lee Roddy, and Janette Oke are your favorite authors?- pioneers, arduous journeys, and simpler times without electricity. I also carried a tape-recorder from the 1960’s(my mother told me she’d used it during nursing school in the 70’s) and recorded my own stories I made up as I did barn chores and walked pastures to collect the cows for milking. What I wouldn’t give to find some of those old cassettes and hear little me through elementary and middle school creating my own audiobooks in the 80’s and 90’s before audiobooks hardly existed. It would be fascinating.

Pouring my heart out through writing fill my soul in so many was, but I absolutely love reading as well, and non-fiction is by far my favorite. Hearing people share their journeys and experiences, as well as the battles hard fought and lessons learned throughout inspires me to no end. I always feel like most fiction is a waste of my precious down time when there are so many incredible, non-fiction pieces to be learned from. Audiobooks have become my main way of “reading” the last 7-8 years of motherhood, but this year I made a goal to read-read one book each month. I admit- not every month has ended up being a physical book. April was How Great Is Our God: Living a Worship-Led Life by Chris Tomlin on audiobook because life was a little(or a lot, if I’m honest. A whole lot) hard, stressful, and painful in April. This past month, in June, I started a second book for the month and it, too, was an audiobook: Raised to Stay by Natalie Runion.

I first discovered Natalie Runion last year, before I could ever imagine what 2024 was going to require of me in the growth of faith and refinement of heart. I began seeing these little black squares with hard-hitting, poignant statements accompanied by the hashtag “#RaisedToStay” popping up repeatedly on Facebook and Instagram, and almost without fail I’d think, “Yes! So true!” She was throwing out these bold statements, daring calls for accountability balanced with measures of grace for Christ-followers that made it clear to me that she grew up in the same evangelical movement of the church in the 90’s I had. We’ve seen some insane stuff done in the name of Jesus that just blows my socks off when I think about it all, that one can only really grasp if they, too, grew up in it. I knew she got it. Those mixed feelings I had struggled with so long of, ‘Wow, that was abusive,’ and, ‘They seriously told us to blindly believe that? And we DID?!’ combined with, ‘Goodness, I’m so glad God is GOD and not humans.’ Eventually I followed one of those black boxes back to her Instagram and followed her. These black boxes came from a book entitled, of all things- Raised to Stay. I grabbed it on audiobook(because free credits on Audible) and put it in my queue. I wanted to read what she had to say, but I didn’t have time right now. Then 2024 began. The hits did. Not. Stop. It’s been so growing, but so, so intense. I’ve never been so cognizant of what it means to say, “Here I am, Lord. Refine my life and use me to do your will,” then have Him immediately take me up on that with marching orders that have felt like wild persecution and mountain tops of visions of His glory all at the same time. When I said, “God, lay me open, Root out the ugliness. I want it gone. Anything. Purify me for your glory,” then feel almost immediately as things I didn’t even know existed were brought to the surface for me to choose to cling to it or release. Oh, the freedom that comes from releasing it(but that’s for another day)! Without realizing there was a connection, one day in May I remembered that audiobook and decided to make it my 2nd book for June. Timeliness doesn’t even describe it. I literally sobbed as I drove down the highway while taking my teens to camp in North Carolina, listening to her talk in my ear about the intensity of being a preacher’s kid, deep in the thick of the evangelical church of the 90’s, of her confusion, identity struggles, and deconstruction in her young adult years, and the healing she found when she began finding out who Jesus Himself was for herself, not as a PK, youth group kid, or out of obligation(you know, “Because I said so!”). She was telling my story, right down to how it was JESUS who continued to pursue her even when the humans who claimed to be His people failed her. It was JESUS who pursued her even when she walked away from Him in her hurt. And even now as an adult, it is JESUS who is worthy of her praise, her devotion, and is the only steady rock, even when the people she currently serves with still get out of line and hurt others in their humanness. JESUS is why she stays. My story. My Jesus. If you haven’t read Raised to Stay, get on it. Doesn’t matter if you’re in ministry yourself. If you’re a Christ-follower, it’s so, SO important. When I saw Natalie had a second book coming out this fall that was a bit of a sequel to Raised to Stay, a call to arms to the current church to follow God’s Great Commission and truly model after the church of Acts, I put it on my list to pre-order.

In the middle of my reading(or listening, rather), Natalie posted on social media asking for help launching that second book: The House That Jesus Built: Leading Our Churches Back to God’s Original Blueprint. I had already seen her previews of the book, and was looking forward to the publishing date in September. When I saw her post, it was almost 24 hours old and I thought SURELY with a following of almost 80,000 on that platform alone, her team was full, but just in case- I followed the instructions and emailed. A couple of days later I received a reply, “Welcome aboard!” I don’t know how they choose whom will be on the team with such a small sampling size that stretches across continents, but I truly feel like it is a God thing that I’m there, crying as I’m reading Raised to Stay, feeling convicted, corrected, called, and encouraged so deeply. My advanced reader copy came from the publisher yesterday, and I am just giddy. Just in the preface(yeah, I’m one of those nerds who never skips the preface and intro) and I can already see God is in this in so many ways, and I am so excited to help launch this anointed piece. And maybe I’m giving away a copy I preordered already when it comes out in September, so stick around.