The Wicked Aren't Who You Think They Are

I’m part of a beautiful group of women, mostly from my church, who are continuously working through devotional studies on the YouVersion Bible app. The past couple weeks we’ve been working on a study of Psalms. It’s been a bit more involved and time-consuming than many of the 2-3 minute devotionals with a small handful of coordinating scriptures, but it’s been well worth it. I read through the Psalms by myself several months ago, and I have to be honest- most of them ran together for me. This has brought me to them once again with fresh eyes, a small chunk at a time, with a short message that ties them together. It’s been very enlightening in so many ways.

Part of today’s reading was Psalm 50, and despite having read it so recently, something in there jumped out at me in a whole new way I’ve never seen before:

But to the wicked God says:
“What right have you to recite My statutes
Or to take My covenant on your lips?
17 
“For you hate instruction and discipline
And cast My words behind you [discarding them].
18 
“When you see a thief, you are pleased with him and condone his behavior,
And you associate with adulterers.
19 
“You give your mouth to evil
And your tongue frames deceit.
20 
“You sit and speak against your brother;
You slander your own mother’s son.
21 
“These things you have done and I kept silent;
You thought that I was just like you.
Now I will reprimand and denounce you and state the case in order before your eyes.

22 
“Now consider this, you who forget God,
Or I will tear you in pieces, and there will be no one to rescue [you].
23 
“He who offers a sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving honors Me;
And to him who orders his way rightly [who follows the way that I show him],
I shall show the salvation of God.”

Psalm 50:16-23

BOOM. The first portion of Psalm 50 is God addressing His people earnestly seeking to follow His ways, and bout their sacrifices to Him, and promising He will be with them in time of trouble. The last part, though, is a big, ol’ helping of, “Y’all best not have my name in your mouth with that behavior,” for the rest of them. One thing I had always missed until today: He’s speaking to those who claim to be His followers. The people the rest of society called Christians of the time. Not the unsaved.

But to the wicked God says:
“What right have you to recite My statutes
Or to take My covenant on your lips?

He’s speaking to us. Those that claim to be in covenant with Him, but their fruit shows their wickedness. Typically when we read about wicked people or evil-doers in the Bible, we think unbelievers who border on criminal. The real baddies. But that’s NOT who God is addressing here. It’s you and me, if we claim to be His followers. He breaks it down further just what He deems wicked, too:

“For you hate instruction and discipline
And cast My words behind you [discarding them].

Straight-up: We’re wicked when we refuse to be held accountable for our sins. NONE of us is righteous, no not one, but we are called to strive to be righteous daily and with every action. That includes taking correction whenever it comes and where ever it comes from, and applying it to ourselves first and foremost. It takes daily intentionality to keep a humble and soft heart that can read every scripture, hear every teaching, and potentially even hear a message from someone we’re not so fond of or even a complete stranger and immediately, genuinely hold up the mirror to self-apply. AM I that way? DO I do those things? IS that something I do/say without recognizing or out of habit that needs to be rooted out of my life? If we do not, God calls us wicked and tells us we have no right to call ourselves His.

“When you see a thief, you are pleased with him and condone his behavior,
And you associate with adulterers.

These two examples of sin represent many things in the Bible- not only literal theft, but jealousy, envy(wanting something another person has), committing adultery not only against a spouse, but the Word of God, intimacy outside of(including before) marriage, and more. Another translation puts it, “You see sin in your comrades and ignore it rather than holding them accountable for their behavior. In doing this, you run alongside them in darkness.” How many of us have seen a friend who claims faith in God do things that just make us cringe and say, “Sorry, Jesus!” under our breaths but never have the courage to stand up for the Word of God and how those who claim to have covenant with Him are called to live? Straight from God: Aiding and abetting sin and willful bad behavior in our fellow Christians without holding them accountable to the Scriptures they claim to live by makes US wicked. Chew on that!

“You give your mouth to evil
And your tongue frames deceit.
“You sit and speak against your brother;
You slander your own mother’s son.

Giving our mouths to evil. In other parts of the Bible(Ephesians 4:29, for example), that includes swearing, cussing, and filthy language of any kind. It includes lying, gossip, and maligning another believer in any way that is not how Jesus instructs us in Matthew 18:15-17. If we allow anyone to speak to us about another in these ways and do not defend the Word of God, skip back up to that last paragraph- We are wicked and cannot claim His covenant. Even if we are just listening and not speaking, if we don’t defend what is right, we are equal in the sin. I know I am guilty of both. We are the wicked He’s addressing.

“These things you have done and I kept silent;
You thought that I was just like you.
Now I will reprimand and denounce you and state the case in order before your eyes.
“Now consider this, you who forget God,
Or I will tear you in pieces, and there will be no one to rescue [you].

We can think we’re right, ok, even justified in our ugly behavior, but the fact of the matter is that we are not. We are wicked. When we choose these behaviors, we forget God, according to Him. We cast Him aside and choose the desires of the flesh. God is such a merciful, loving God who can redeem anyone from the darkest of places, but He won’t force it on us. We must choose it. We must choose Him. Many Christians have also believed the lie that there’s a middle ground. We can choose neither. But that choice is STILL a choice. We’re still choosing NOT Him. Our choices are evident by our fruit. Even the humanly depraved- the most hardened of criminals- can put on good behavior for a time. They can impress the right people, pass the checkpoint, fool the general public, all the while being grossly vile and evil to their core. Some would look at that brief good behavior and think, “How could they be that bad? Look at that fruit!” What makes us any different? Nothing. Do not mistake occasional good behavior for a pure heart. Remember Jesus’ words in Matthew 5 about how we treat, “The least of these.” The least of these is the person who bothers us the most. The most challenging person in our life. The people our human brains consider the least deserving of our best. THAT is what shows our true heart. Even the most vile people on the planet treat well their best friends. How do you treat the least of these? That is your real fruit, what shows your true heart. We’re looking pretty wicked now, aren’t we?

When we don’t choose Him, daily self-examining and genuinely seeking to root out ANY wickedness, rather than feeling justified in it and clinging to it, we are removing ourselves from His covering. Not only that, but He himself will tear you to pieces and there will be now rescue. Let’s be a people who self-applies. Let’s be a people who rebuke wickedness from our lives in every form.

Reading & Writing

I think I started writing before I began reading. I have distinct memories of sitting beneath the piano in our playroom at the home where I grew up until I was 6, holding a bright orange, pocket-size, Gideon’s New Testament, copying down what I saw, then bringing it to my mother, asking what it said. That’s how I learned to read. My mother has told me I was 3 at this time. I look at my youngest daughter who is currently three, and I just cannot imagine that. Perhaps proof of what an odd bird I’ve been from the start?

I became a ravenous reader, which inspired me to write stories of my own about- what else when Laura Ingalls Wilder, Mary Borntrager, Lee Roddy, and Janette Oke are your favorite authors?- pioneers, arduous journeys, and simpler times without electricity. I also carried a tape-recorder from the 1960’s(my mother told me she’d used it during nursing school in the 70’s) and recorded my own stories I made up as I did barn chores and walked pastures to collect the cows for milking. What I wouldn’t give to find some of those old cassettes and hear little me through elementary and middle school creating my own audiobooks in the 80’s and 90’s before audiobooks hardly existed. It would be fascinating.

Pouring my heart out through writing fill my soul in so many was, but I absolutely love reading as well, and non-fiction is by far my favorite. Hearing people share their journeys and experiences, as well as the battles hard fought and lessons learned throughout inspires me to no end. I always feel like most fiction is a waste of my precious down time when there are so many incredible, non-fiction pieces to be learned from. Audiobooks have become my main way of “reading” the last 7-8 years of motherhood, but this year I made a goal to read-read one book each month. I admit- not every month has ended up being a physical book. April was How Great Is Our God: Living a Worship-Led Life by Chris Tomlin on audiobook because life was a little(or a lot, if I’m honest. A whole lot) hard, stressful, and painful in April. This past month, in June, I started a second book for the month and it, too, was an audiobook: Raised to Stay by Natalie Runion.

I first discovered Natalie Runion last year, before I could ever imagine what 2024 was going to require of me in the growth of faith and refinement of heart. I began seeing these little black squares with hard-hitting, poignant statements accompanied by the hashtag “#RaisedToStay” popping up repeatedly on Facebook and Instagram, and almost without fail I’d think, “Yes! So true!” She was throwing out these bold statements, daring calls for accountability balanced with measures of grace for Christ-followers that made it clear to me that she grew up in the same evangelical movement of the church in the 90’s I had. We’ve seen some insane stuff done in the name of Jesus that just blows my socks off when I think about it all, that one can only really grasp if they, too, grew up in it. I knew she got it. Those mixed feelings I had struggled with so long of, ‘Wow, that was abusive,’ and, ‘They seriously told us to blindly believe that? And we DID?!’ combined with, ‘Goodness, I’m so glad God is GOD and not humans.’ Eventually I followed one of those black boxes back to her Instagram and followed her. These black boxes came from a book entitled, of all things- Raised to Stay. I grabbed it on audiobook(because free credits on Audible) and put it in my queue. I wanted to read what she had to say, but I didn’t have time right now. Then 2024 began. The hits did. Not. Stop. It’s been so growing, but so, so intense. I’ve never been so cognizant of what it means to say, “Here I am, Lord. Refine my life and use me to do your will,” then have Him immediately take me up on that with marching orders that have felt like wild persecution and mountain tops of visions of His glory all at the same time. When I said, “God, lay me open, Root out the ugliness. I want it gone. Anything. Purify me for your glory,” then feel almost immediately as things I didn’t even know existed were brought to the surface for me to choose to cling to it or release. Oh, the freedom that comes from releasing it(but that’s for another day)! Without realizing there was a connection, one day in May I remembered that audiobook and decided to make it my 2nd book for June. Timeliness doesn’t even describe it. I literally sobbed as I drove down the highway while taking my teens to camp in North Carolina, listening to her talk in my ear about the intensity of being a preacher’s kid, deep in the thick of the evangelical church of the 90’s, of her confusion, identity struggles, and deconstruction in her young adult years, and the healing she found when she began finding out who Jesus Himself was for herself, not as a PK, youth group kid, or out of obligation(you know, “Because I said so!”). She was telling my story, right down to how it was JESUS who continued to pursue her even when the humans who claimed to be His people failed her. It was JESUS who pursued her even when she walked away from Him in her hurt. And even now as an adult, it is JESUS who is worthy of her praise, her devotion, and is the only steady rock, even when the people she currently serves with still get out of line and hurt others in their humanness. JESUS is why she stays. My story. My Jesus. If you haven’t read Raised to Stay, get on it. Doesn’t matter if you’re in ministry yourself. If you’re a Christ-follower, it’s so, SO important. When I saw Natalie had a second book coming out this fall that was a bit of a sequel to Raised to Stay, a call to arms to the current church to follow God’s Great Commission and truly model after the church of Acts, I put it on my list to pre-order.

In the middle of my reading(or listening, rather), Natalie posted on social media asking for help launching that second book: The House That Jesus Built: Leading Our Churches Back to God’s Original Blueprint. I had already seen her previews of the book, and was looking forward to the publishing date in September. When I saw her post, it was almost 24 hours old and I thought SURELY with a following of almost 80,000 on that platform alone, her team was full, but just in case- I followed the instructions and emailed. A couple of days later I received a reply, “Welcome aboard!” I don’t know how they choose whom will be on the team with such a small sampling size that stretches across continents, but I truly feel like it is a God thing that I’m there, crying as I’m reading Raised to Stay, feeling convicted, corrected, called, and encouraged so deeply. My advanced reader copy came from the publisher yesterday, and I am just giddy. Just in the preface(yeah, I’m one of those nerds who never skips the preface and intro) and I can already see God is in this in so many ways, and I am so excited to help launch this anointed piece. And maybe I’m giving away a copy I preordered already when it comes out in September, so stick around.

Hello Again

Hey. It’s been a little while. As I’m sitting here, I see my last post was on this exact day two years ago. That wasn’t planned, but it’s giving me a good laugh in this moment.

The last two years have made me unrecognizable in all the best ways, and I’m finding myself completely without the words to explain it all. And yet, I’m feeling the intense need to write about all I’m learning and have learned. Last week my husband told me to start writing a book. I laughed. Then I thought. Deeply. I’ve been told for decades that I would write books that would help people. I’ve always thought, “Maybe someday.” Maybe someday is now? I’ll start here, by sharing snippets of what I’m learning in the process. Humility. Waiting. Full reliance on God for my everything. Genuinely listening and hearing what the Holy Spirit is saying to me, even when it’s downright startling and not what I wanted to hear.

Type A Planner me wants to now put writing on my schedule and commit, but Realistic me, the mom of six homeschooled kids, farmer with 20 sheep, 80 poultry, 4 dogs, and a 1600 sqft garden is like, “Commit to nothing. Because it will be sporadic at best.” Realistic me wins this round. I’d like to share often, and I will try. What that looks like, time will tell.

How Do You Get It All Done?

Look around. Busyness is noble. Being swamped is a badge of honor. Frazzled and “hot mess express” are the norm. There’s a general feeling that there simply aren’t enough hours in the day. So how does a family with so many children, a family who chooses to homeschool, parents who both work from home and intentionally parent in ways seen not the norm- how do WE get everything done in a day?

Talking about all that on today’s podcast: